Cain, we're told, was the first murderer. When God asked him where Abel was, he replied "How should I know? Am I my brother's keeper?" Angry, God cursed him and he fled to the Land of Nod, east of Eden, where he was fated to wander forever. Scholars are divided on the question of whether the curse was for the murder or because he was a Conservative.

The U.S. Military

Why, on the game show Jeopardy, do military contestants always appear in full dress uniform, spit and polish, ribbons, braid, the whole nine yards? They are off-duty. A pastry chef doesn't wear his white apron and puffy cap. A doctor doesn't have a stethoscope hanging from his neck. A fireman doesn't come clutching his ax, with a hose and nozzle draped over his shoulder. Why does the soldier not wear civilian clothes? He would still be introduced as a Marine sergeant or an Air Force captain or whatever. It is as if he is proclaiming "Look at me! I'm a hero. I protect your Freedom." Considering Viet Nam and now Iraq, it seems to me that some measure of modesty or even effacement would be in order. Stay below the radar. Not in the U.S.A., it seems.

Given that the U.S. is a militaristic nation, is it possible that the brass encourages participation in game shows and orders servicemen to appear in uniform? Just a thought.

Wimbledon

The British are a strange and unique breed. I've been watching the tennis matches at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club, where everything is oh! so proper. Wearing white is mandatory unlike any other locale, be it the Australian, French or U.S. Open. Whereas in Paris or New York you will see Maria Sharapova and Venus Williams, at Wimbledon it's Miss M. Sharapova and Miss V. Williams. The men however are not accorded a Mr. Some years ago, if my memory serves me right, Jimmy Connors refused to enter because of the dress code, but is that not merely an American attempt to impose their ways as the British have done for centuries?

In the glorious days of Empire, the Brits insisted on taking their way of life with them wherever they went. Any of their breed who 'went native" was beyond the pale.

"Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun" was a Noel Coward song. In England it was fine to wander about when the sun was at it's highest, so they damned well would do it on the Mediteranian coast or in India. I once knew an Englishman in Newfoundland who would not remove his necktie or suit coat in the most sweltering part of the paper mill where he worked.

But to get back to tennis. The men's final between the calm Swiss Roger Federer and the glowering Spaniard Rafael Nadal was stupendous. It is being described as one of the greatest matches of all time. I have never seen such tennis. After Nadal took the first two sets (best of five) 6-4, 6-4, Federer tied 6-6 in the third and won on tie-break. I missed the fourth set because of visitors, but I understand that Federer, being down 5-2, came back to win it with brilliant play, also on tie-break. The fifth set was something else, with both players going above and beyond. Nadal finally prevailed after tying 6-6, in extra games, thus ending Federer's string of five straight Wimbledon championships.

The Compact Fluorescent Light (CFL)

I think we are being sold a bill of goods on the CFLs. True, they use less power for the same amount of light, but that's not the whole story, especially in a country like Canada where the heating season lasts nine months.

The traditional incandescent bulb, like a politician, emits more heat than light. (Sorry, I just had to get that in.) A 100W bulb gives off 90W of heat, 10W of light. That 90W contributes to heating the house during the heating season, thus lessening the load on the oil furnace or the electric heaters. The added electrical cost is roughly balanced by the lower oil cost. So, in effect, you can leave the lights on all the time and not suffer financial loss. This is not true in summer, of course, but there is less need for artificial light due to long daylight. I suppose you could remove the incandescent in June and screw in the CFL, then reverse the process in September, but who's going to do that? So, that's reason #1 for sticking with the traditional.

The CFL is apparently not as long lasting as claimed. According to Macleans Magazine, clerks at Home Depot report that CFLs are coming back "in droves" because they fail. Longevity seems to depend on whether the bulb stands up, as in a table lamp, or faces down as in a ceiling light. It is reported that the "down" ones cook themselves. And if they are turned on and off frequently, they won't last very long, according to Consumer Reports, who also advise that if one breaks, extreme measures are required in clean-up. Open all the windows, leave the room for 15 minutes, sweep, not vacuum, the shards, seal them in a plastic bag, which you then place in another plastic bag before throwing in the trash. Use rubber gloves. If the shards fall on a rug, use sticky tape for pick-up, then do the plastic bag thing and vacuum. Then the vacuum has to be cleaned, bag removed and placed in - you guessed it - double plastic bags. Wash hands. Are we getting a little ridiculous here? CFLs are branded dangerous waste in Europe and banned from landfills.

The RF harmonics and the infra-red light emitted by these bulbs can interfere with TV remotes, cell phones, laptops and even your health as some experts suggest.

Now, if you still want to go the CFL route, your incandescents end up in landfill, just when parts of this country are running out of landfill sites. Also note that most CFLs come from China, meaning that ships and planes use a lot of fossil fuel to get them here.

They reportedly don't work well in the cold, so that takes care of porch lights, although there are costly special ones for the purpose. And the normal ones cost about six times more. You need a special bulb if you have a dimmer switch. The list goes on.

So enough of this environmental chic. Let's get real.